In The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie, Phoebe writes a Christmas song for her friends. In scenes throughout the episode, Phoebe can be seen in Central Perk attempting to write a holiday song for the other five friends. The final version of the song is performed in the final scene of the episode in Central Perk.
During the episode, Phoebe writes three different holiday songs. The first two are scrapped due to problems that the other friends note in the lyrics.
This song is sung by Phoebe when she first tells the group that she is writing a holiday song for them all. The lyrics are as follows:
- Happy Hanukkah, Monica!
- May your Christmas be snowy, Joey!
- Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross!
- Spin the dreidel, Rachel!
After initially praising the song, Rachel points out that her name doesn't rhyme with dreidel, to which Phobe responds "I know but it's so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!" After failed attempts to find a suitable word that rhymes with Rachel and finding a nickname that would be easier to find a rhyme for, the group is distracted by Chandler's entrance and this version of the song is abandoned.
This version is sung later in the episode as Phoebe continues to work on the song in Central Perk. The full lyrics to this song are not heard as Chandler interrupts Phoebe as she is still singing. The lyrics that are heard are:
- Happy, happy Hanukkah, Chandler and Monica!
- Very merry -
At this point, Chandler points out that he's not Jewish. Phoebe's response gives us an idea of some of the rest of the lyrics as she says "So? Ross doesn't really decorate his tree with floss but you don't hear him complaining, do you?" The group then turn to discussing Ross' love life, and this version of the song is also abandoned.
Unlike the other two versions, which are only heard by the friends that are present when Phoebe is writing them in the coffee house, the final version is performed publicly in Central Perk. It is sung in the final scene of the episode. The lyrics to this version are:
- Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap,
- Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap.
- Said, all you need is to write them a song.
- Now you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along,
- No, don't sing along...
- Monica, Monica,
- Have a Happy Hanukkah!
- Saw Santa Claus,
- He said hello to Ross.
- And please tell Joey,
- Christmas will be snowy!!
- And Rachel and Chandler,
- Ha ah ha ah handler!"
As is clear from the final line, Phoebe never found a solution to the problems posed by Rachel's and Chandler's names. She mumbles her way through most of the line, before singing "andler!" in order to make it rhyme with the preceding line.