Jill Condon is the Producer of Friends!


[Scene:Rachel and Monica's Apartment]

(Rooster Crows)

Rachel: What the hell is that? What the hell is that? Is that you?

(Crowing Continues)

(Rachel Growls)

Monica: Boy, You are really not a morning person.

Rachel: Back off.

(Rachel and Monica go across the hall to Chandler and Joey's apartment)

(Rachel Banging on door)

Rachel: Get up! Get up! Get up Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up!

(Chandler opens the door with Joey behind him)

Rachel: What is that noise?

Chandler: You

Joey: Its the chick. She's going through some changes.

Monica: What kind of changes.

Chandler: The vet seems to think shes beginning to think shes becoming a rooster.


Chandler: We're getting a second opinion.

(Theme song Plays)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment]

(Rachel Enters with shopping bags)

Phoebe: Hey

Ross: What are you doing shopping at 8:00 in the morning?

Rachel: Well, I've been up since 6:00. Thanks to somebody's dumb-ass rooster.

Phoebe: Guys, you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldn't be living in a apartment.

Rachel: Yeah, especially not with all these knives and cookbooks around.

Phoebe: All right, I'm going to go to the fertility doctor and see if I'm ready to have Frank and Alice's embryo's transferred into my uterus.

Ross: Now, How will they know if you're ready.

Phoebe: Oh, they're just going to see if my endometrial layer is thick.

Chandler: Well. I can, uh, check that for you.

Phoebe: Okay everyone, think thick.

Everyone: Good luck!

(Phoebe approaches door which opens; Monica enters Carrying laundry with Joey behind her)

Monica: Hey!

Phoebe: Hey! Wish me luck!

Monica: Oh... Good Luck!

Joey: Good luck, and I'm still right.

Monica: That is so not true.

Rachel: What?

Joey: She's mad because I know Today's her laundry day and that means she's wearing her old lady underpants.

Chandler: Well, I can check that for you.

Monica: I just can't believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.

Chandler: Well, we do. You can only eat Tic Tacs in even numbers.

Joey: Yeah, What;s that about?

Chandler: And you, Ross, I believe if you check Rachel's bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.

(Ross checks in bag and pulls out a cookie from a box)

Ros: You're good. These are not.

Rachel: So not impressed, everybody snacks when the shop.

Joey: Oh Yeah? Ross, How many items left in that bag?

Ross: Five.

Chandler: Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.

Rachel: How many guesses do you get?

Joey: Six

Ross: Challenge extended.

Monica: Deal

( Monica and Chandler and Joey shake hands)

Ross: Challenge accepted.

Joey: All right. We'll start with apples.

Ross: We'll be starting with Apples.

Chandler: Stop that now.

Ross: Yes.

Joey: Okay, Uh, Tortilla chips, yogurt,

Chandler: Diet Soda

Ross: Yes, Yes, Yes

Chandler: Orange Juice

Rachel: No! There's no orange juice in there.

Ross: They have another guess.

Rachel: Okay, Well, we won that one.

Joey: Okay, the last thing is...

Chandler: Ooh, ooh! Ooh! Ooh, ooh!

(Chandler whispers something in Joey's ear.)

Joey: No, No, not for another 2 weeks.

Chandler: I got it. Scotch, Tape.

(Ross pulls out the tape)

Joey: Ha!

Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?

Chandler: Well, we used up their's last night making scary faces.

(Joey and chandler laugh)

Monica: Oh, Man!

Chandler: All right, ten bucks. Fork it over. Cough it up. Pay the piper. Give me it.

Monica: That does not mean that you know us better. I want a rematch!

Rachel: And non of these stupid grocery questions. Real, Personal, Questions.

Monica: Yeah, and the winner gets a hundred bucks.

Joey: Are you serious?

Monica: Are you scared?

Joey: (In fearful tone) No. Okay, Who who, makes up the questions?

Monica: Ross'll do it.

Ross: Oh. sure Ross'll do it. It's not like he has a job or a child or a life of his own.

Rachel: Well, Fine. We'll ask Phoebe.

Ross: No, No No, I want to play.

[Scene Change: Fertility Doctors Office]

Episode time (Netflix version) 5:33

(From the Writer, Abi.Yarb: Im gonna stop here until i get a chance to write again!! If you need more subtitles written for this episode or any other un written episodes tell me! Glad to do them! Im also available for other jobs like transcribing! Contact me in these ways: Email me at or message me on my profile! Thanks! Now go make some F-R-I-E-N-D-S!

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