TOWTheCandyHearts "Oh my God!"
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[Scene: Rachel and Monica's Apartment]

(Rooster Crows)

Rachel: What the hell is that? What the hell is that? Is that you?

(Crowing Continues)

(Rachel Growls)

Monica: Boy, You are really not a morning person.

Rachel: Back off.

(Rachel and Monica go across the hall to Chandler and Joey's apartment)

(Rachel Banging on door)

Rachel: Get up! Get up! Get up Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up!

(Chandler opens the door with Joey behind him)

Rachel: What is that noise?

Chandler: You.

Joey: Its the chick. She's going through some changes.

Monica: What kind of changes?

Chandler: The vet seems to think shes beginning to think shes becoming a rooster.


Chandler: We're getting a second opinion.

(Theme song Plays)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment]

(Rachel Enters with shopping bags)

Phoebe: Hey

Ross: What are you doing shopping at 8:00 in the morning?

Rachel: Well, I've been up since 6:00. Thanks to somebody's dumb-ass rooster.

Phoebe: Guys, you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldn't be living in an apartment.

Rachel: Yeah, especially not with all these knives and cookbooks around.

Phoebe: All right, I'm going to go to the fertility doctor and see if I'm ready to have Frank and Alice's embryo's transferred into my uterus.

Ross: Now, How will they know if you're ready.

Phoebe: Oh, they're just going to see if my endometrial layer is thick.

Chandler: Well. I can, uh, check that for you.

Phoebe: Okay everyone, think thick.

Everyone: Good luck!

(Phoebe approaches door which opens; Monica enters Carrying laundry with Joey behind her)

Monica: Hey!

Phoebe: Hey! Wish me luck!

Monica: Oh... Good Luck!

Joey: Good luck, and I'm still right.

Monica: That is so not true.

Rachel: What?

Joey: She's mad because I know Today's her laundry day and that means she's wearing her old lady underpants.

Chandler: Well, I can check that for you.

Monica: I just can't believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.

Chandler: Well, we do. You can only eat Tic Tacs in even numbers.

Joey: Yeah, What's that about?

Chandler: And you, Ross, I believe if you check Rachel's bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.

(Ross checks in bag and pulls out a cookie from a box)

Ross: You're good. These are not.

Rachel: So not impressed, everybody snacks when the shop.

Joey: Oh Yeah? Ross, How many items left in that bag?

Ross: Five.

Chandler: Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.

Rachel: How many guesses do you get?

Joey: Six.

Ross: Challenge extended.

Monica: Deal.

(Monica and Chandler and Joey shake hands)

Ross: Challenge accepted.

Joey: Alright. We'll start with apples.

Ross: We'll be starting with apples.

Chandler: Stop that now.

Ross: Yes.

Joey: Okay, uh, tortilla chips, yogurt.

Chandler: Diet soda.

Ross: Yes, yes, yes.

Chandler: Orange juice.

Rachel: No! There's no orange juice in there.

Ross: They have another guess.

Rachel: Okay, well, we won that one.

Joey: Okay, the last thing is...

Chandler: Ooh, ooh! Ooh! Ooh, ooh!

(Chandler whispers in Joey's ear.)

Joey: No, no, not for another 2 weeks.

Chandler: I got it. Scotch. . . tape.

(Ross pulls out Scotch tape)

Joey: Ha!

Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?

Chandler: Well, we used up their's last night making scary faces.

(Joey and chandler laugh)

Monica: Oh, man!

Chandler: All right, ten bucks. Fork it over. Cough it up. Pay the piper. Give me it.

Monica: That does not mean that you know us better. I want a rematch!

Rachel: And none of these stupid grocery questions. Real, personal, questions.

Monica: Yeah, and the winner gets a hundred bucks.

Joey: Are you serious?

Monica: Are you scared?

Joey: (In fearful tone) No. Okay, Who, who makes up the questions?

Monica: Ross will do it.

Ross: Oh. sure Ross will do it. It's not like he has a job or a child or a life of his own.

Rachel: Well, fine. We'll ask Phoebe.

Ross: No, No No, I want to play.

[Scene Change: Fertility Doctors Office]

Fertility Doctor: Looks like your uterous is ready for implantation.

(Alice Claps)

Phoebe: Oh, I knew it. I knew it! I felt really thick this morning!