We Were On A Break is a famous recurring line by Ross Geller that has its roots in the fifteenth episode of the third season of Friends, titled "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break". The phrase is first coined by Rachel Green in the next episode ("The One With The Morning After") and is heard in arguments between Ross and Rachel throughout the series. It is one of the most used running gags of the series.
The phrase has its roots in the fifteenth episode of the third season of Friends, titled "The One Where Ross And Rachel Take A Break", when a rift between Ross Geller and Rachel Green (a couple at the time) came to a head. At the time, Ross mistakenly suspected that Rachel was having an affair with a co-worker of hers, Mark Robinson, and had subsequently frequently complained about how much time she had been spending away from him and with Mark. Eventually Rachel (who in reality only ever considered her relationship with Mark to be platonic and was unaware that he did indeed have a crush on her until he admitted as much to her in a later episode) became so frustrated with the amount of arguments she and Ross had been having over something that seemed so trivial to her that a fateful row with him ended with the following dialog:
- Rachel: ...Maybe we should just take a break!
- Ross: Ok, fine. Fine. Let's take a break. Let's cool off. Let's get some frozen yogurt or something.
- Rachel: No! ...a break from us.
The couple separate immediately afterwards. Both Ross (in the same episode) and Rachel (at the beginning of the next episode) separately confess that the conversation construed a "breakup" and that their relationship is effectively ended.
After the breakup, Ross retreats to a bar, and eventually decides to telephone Rachel at her apartment and reconcile with her. However, by then Mark had called her and, hearing that she was upset after her fight with Ross, offered to come round her apartment and provide her with comfort. Overhearing his voice in the background, Ross mistakenly thinks he is there to have sex with her and angrily hangs up, convinced now his suspicions about her affair with Mark were right and his relationship with her is now over. Then the sum of his emotional vulnerability, alcohol and a promiscuous woman named Chloe causes Ross to have an affair. He does not learn that he had been mistaken in thinking Rachel had sex with Mark until the following morning, when he hears a message she left on his answering machine telling him she wants to reconcile with him. His one-night stand with Chloe, however, does not remain a secret and causes Ross and Rachel's attempt to renew their relationship in "The One With The Morning After" to turn into a very awkward fight which eventually results in them breaking up once again. Rachel asserts that Ross's one-night stand with Chloe was an act of cheating while Ross maintains that since they had broken up, no cheating had occurred. Rachel briefly attempts to contradict the "breakup" interpretation of their previous fateful dialog by turning it into "we were on a break" (thus differentiating between "break" and "breakup"). This unsuccessful attempt, which is never repeated, coins the phrase.
The running gag
Starting with episode 17 of season three ("The One Without The Ski Trip") Ross recurrently repeats the phrase "we were on a break" in the recurring rows with Rachel as well as on occasions when the audience least expects it. Rachel also repeats her alternative version ("we were NOT on a break") albeit it is far less frequent. Ross emphasizes that he and Rachel had broken up and thus he was free to strike a partnership with any other woman while Rachel maintains that somehow they had not been on a break and so Ross actually cheated on her.
The truth however is that both Ross and Rachel made a number of mistakes that resulted in their break-up after his drunken affair with Chloe, but both are seemingly unwilling to, even to themselves, admit their respective errors out of stubbornness stemming from anger at each other. Rachel's conversation with Monica at the beginning of The One With The Morning After (prior to learning of the affair) proves (as she says so) that she had indeed broken up with him when she suggested they "take a break." As Ross pointed out while arguing with her later in the same episode, in doing so she effectively "bailed on (their relationship) just when things got a little rough." However, it seems as though her rage and anger at Ross for breaking her heart causes her to stubbornly blame the whole fiasco on him; she responds to his statement about her bailing on their relationship by saying "that is neither here nor there" and refuses to take any blame for anything at all that went wrong with their relationship, later revealing that she expects him to take full responsibility for all that went wrong. Ross in turn is so infuriated by precisely this that he, somewhat ironically, adopts a similar attitude himself by stubbornly refusing to admit to his own mistakes and the truth behind his affair with Chloe-which is that out of paranoia he had mistakenly believed at the time that she had been having an affair with Mark and his relationship with her was already over.
The phrase puts the friends in painful situations as they try not to take side with either of them, lest their friendship is jeopardized. They regard the whole affair utterly childish. In addition to making no comment on the issue, Phoebe occasionally asks Ross to confess his love for Rachel openly, when he least expects the matter to come up. Ross, however, does not comply until the very last episode, "The Last One, Part 2". Chandler, on the other hand, is so deeply affected by the whole state of affair that resumes smoking and, for the first time in his life, cries. (See "The One With Rachel's Sister".)
Unsuccessful with their friends, Ross and Rachel both attempt to indoctrinate their own points of view on Ben and Emma, Ross's children, resulting in hilarious scenes. Also in "The One With Ross' Wedding, Part 2", in a flight to London, Rachel succeeds in eliciting a response from a third-party (a passenger to London played by Hugh Laurie), although to her utter dismay, the verdict is "it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break!"
- The first time it was said, David and Jennifer both cried after the break-up.
- The phrase to be on a break is also used by Paget Brewster in an interview titled "Friends of Friends Part II", featured on Friends: The Complete Series Collection.